The Hipstercrite & the Pepperazzi


I’ve never thought of myself as a hipster, although considering my mindset, my age, my attitudes, even my fashion choices, I am almost undoubtedly hipsterish though I can’t stand actual hipsters themselves.  The previous sentence is also the definition of a hipstercrite.  A hipstercrite being someone who, according to is:

“Someone who claims not to be a hipster, mocks others for being hipsters, but is in fact themselves a hipster. This usually applies to all hipsters as it a very rare hipster indeed that will admit to being a hipster.”

I suppose I am the very model of a modern major general, no?  Using Gilbert & Sullivan lingo to disguise the meaning of my concomitant phraseology is probably another definition of hipster culture.  However, everything that I’ve just written is of absolutely no use to you if you don’t know me or haven’t read my work.  Moreover, why should you care?  I’m just another voice in a sea of voices.  What we do on the internet and within the realm of social media defines us in many ways.  It may not say a whole lot about our nation or our intellectual prowess when one is able to dissect a person, their beliefs and their abilities based on their Twitter feed but it does tell us quite a bit about where we are as a people.

Yesterday, when I returned home from a rather bizarre day at school I logged on to my computer and checked all the things that I like to keep track of in my free time.  As I was glancing over my twitter feed I noticed that not only were all the sports analysts talking about something, but all of the political commentators were as well.  The subject was the Marquette-Davidson game in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament.  Basketball is something very unique to American culture.  Not quite as defining of American life as baseball, basketball, at least at the collegiate level and this probably holds true for college football as well is a fun sport to watch and participate in because it allows fans many different means to interact with it.  Think about the college bracket that is associated with the NCAA tournament.  I have a class this semester where a teacher will be giving a student a free pass on the final based solely on their ability to pick the winners and losers in the NCAA tournament.  That not only says something about our culture, but about the integrity of our academic institutions as well, at least in this author’s opinion.

I didn’t get to watch much of the Marquette game.  I was following it on Twitter and the ESPN liveblog, but I was trying to finish up some homework before spring break.  It was a six point game with less than two minutes to go and I didn’t think Marquette, after going 1-11 from beyond the arc, had any realistic chance at a comeback.  Wow, was I wrong.  Before long Marquette was down by just one point and as I made my way downstairs to turn the game on someone for Marquette scored another basket.  By the time I found the channel that the game was on (which was TruTV I believe) there was one second left in the game and Marquette was winning.  I watched Davidson inbound the ball, which was picked off by a Marquette player and just like that the game was over.  My participation in this event was about as minimal as you could get, yet I was very excited about the whole thing.  Why?  I had no vested interest in the outcome.  I hadn’t even filled out a bracket this year.  My dad asked me where Davidson was and I just shrugged my shoulders.  I thought it was in Ohio, but I really didn’t know, but who cares?  Later, when I turned on the local news the anchors were talking about how miserable the weather was but they added the caveat: “at least Marquette won.”

I have a lot of interests and a lot of times these interests overlap.  I’m a sports junkie, a political junkie, a history junkie, a news junkie, a pop culture junkie, I basically wouldn’t have enough room on the form if I were ever forced into rehab to deal with all of my societal addictions.  On this particular day my sports interest and news interest overlapped and I found myself paying attention to both while trying to do other things.  I’m trying to get caught up on all the TV shows that I’m supposed to be watching like: House of Cards, Breaking Bad, Mad Men and I’ll be getting around to Girls one of these days I promise (please don’t tell Judd Apatow or Lena Dunham because I’m such a big fan of their work!)  So, I spent my Thursday night watching an episode of House of Cards, a couple episodes of Mad Men and a couple episodes of Breaking Bad because Netflix just rules sometimes.  When I looked over at my Twitter feed I noticed that there were various Harvard jokes being made, which I figured must have meant that some Harvard grad had done something with their life.  But no, Harvard had, for the first time in it’s history, won an NCAA tournament game.  How weird is that?  Harvard has been around since the 18th century, but the one thing they could never master was basketball.

Interspersed with Tweets about Harvard, jokes about their academic prowess and that one guy that went there that didn’t graduate only to form some sort of book of faces or something was my phone, which I, like everyone else, use for everything except making phone calls.  I wrote out a couple of Tweets, went back and forth with a couple of analysts and then looked to finish a paper that I needed to finish.  At the end of the night I realized that I had been in communication with people all around the world and during that time I had never left my bedroom.  The Pepperazzi love their food, the Hipstercrites seem to hate everybody (including themselves) and I don’t have a clue where I fit into it all.  The only thing I do know is that I spent my Thursday night walking around a radius of about six feet and I have no complaints about how I spent my time nor do I have any regrets about not accomplishing more.  Everything I needed to do was literally at my fingertips.  Society might not be good for much, but at least it can be inclusive even while trying to be exclusive and we ought to give it props for being able to maintain this duality without pushing us into a dystopic social media haze in the process.


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