Sick Again


“All the Purrell in the world isn’t going to make you touchable” are not words that anyone wants to hear at anytime.  I would venture however that such a situation is far worse for men than it is for women if only because men tend to think through their pants and not through their head.  What does one do when they are oozing snot?  Sniffle it back in?  There is no sanitary answer.

Sickness irritates my body while confusion irritates my brain to the point where I get so frustrated at my inability to even think coherently that I simply think about the next pill I have to take or the cough medicine that I must ingest until Xanax hour, when my nerves become slightly relieved.  We all have odd things that we do every day.  Whether or not someone else understands them is a whole different matter.  I was thinking this morning that it really is odd what society judges to be normative behavior.  Someone asked me about drinking and how you’re basically an outcast in college as an undergrad if you don’t drink.  It’s a peculiar thing; drinking.  It’s easily one of the top five creators of poverty and it creates more death and destruction than anyone should reasonably allow, but rather than confronting the drinking problem that we have as a country (a recent study indicates that we’re all basically binge drinkers) we just continue on with our day as if nothing is wrong.  I’d like to ask my readers to lean back in your chair for a moment and think for a second.  Just think about the judgments you’ve made from reading that last paragraph.  My best guess is that many people read that as something that came out of an AA meeting or something.  Perhaps others would like to drop some other labels like “prohibitionist” or my personal favorite “buzzkill.”  There is a problem here that nobody realizes and it has nothing to do with drinking.

Our minds have been trained to accept every new idea as a slippery slope argument.  I’m not making this up.  We’re taught as children how to construct sentences “properly.”  Who should judge what’s proper?  No one is going to answer that question because it leads down a slippery slope.  It leads towards education and the problem of education inevitably leads to politics and if you apply the six degrees of separation rule to every conversation you have it can lead back to politics.  If you’re like me you have no problem laying out the argument esoterically along societal guidelines.  That’s called conformity and we’re all very good at it.  No matter how far removed you are from whatever issue you are just a stone’s throw away from a political argument.  If you’re like my mother you don’t do political arguments and that is a problem because problems only get solved when you talk about them.  I’ve never solved a problem by tucking it away in a drawer and I don’t think that’s a process that’s going to begin now.

I, like many of my readers, have problems.  I suffer from Depression, Asperger’s and recently: a cold.  When these things get too intertwined things start getting out of whack.  This brings me back to drinking because that will mess you up and it’s a problem, but we don’t talk about it because it gets us back to politics, but for the purposes of this discussion it also gets us back to judgments.  When I use drinking and problem in the same sentence everybody starts to think something and it’s a judgment.  The ideas: “Drinking: good” or “drinking: bad,” “drinking: okay” or what have you permeates your mind.


Perhaps you’re one of the folks who looks at drinking through the lens of driving.  Now, I’ve just thrown two other buzzwords together in a sentence and my guess is that you’ve made another judgment.  Our society is based on making judgments, good ones and bad ones, but judgments nonetheless.  Judgment leads to hiring and firing, it leads to a madman pulling the trigger, it leads to a man jumping off a bridge, but it also leads us towards a common understanding at times.  Judgment is never going to leave us, it will always be here, what we choose to do about judgment however is up to us.  It says in the bible: “judge not lest the be judged” and that means something to someone somewhere, but the thing about that is that I don’t care.  Religion isn’t really my thing because it is way to fucking judgmental for me.

We are people who live to be judged and I’m sitting here, with all of my issues, asking why?  I don’t have the answer to many questions, but I am listening to the questions that are being asked.  Bill Maher once said something that will really piss conservatives off.  I’m kidding of course, he always says something that pisses conservatives off, it’s his business, but he did a comedy special a few years ago that I think about from time to time.  I think about it because it is as relevant now as it was then and it will probably remain that way until the end of time.  Maher said that we had a tolerance problem in America.  He said: “don’t be so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.”  Well, fuck if that shouldn’t be the rallying cry of my generation.  We became so intolerant of Republicans that we elected a black guy to be President and they’ll never forgive us.  Even today they’re trying to figure out ways to repeal his health care law and undue provisions of this act or that act and they’re doing it just for spite.  They made a judgment: Obama = bad.  America made a judgment twice: Obama = good.  History will decide which argument holds more weight and history will make a judgment.

We judge everything around us, sometimes arbitrarily, sometimes not in the most thought out manner, but we make judgments and we live with the consequences of said judgments, no one needs to be reminded of that more than me, but we should not be defined by our judgments because who is to say that society has the right to judge anybody?  Well, we do.  We actually say that in the Constitution that we basically give rights to people and they have said rights unless they abuse them, in which case some can be taken away.  My broader point however is that everything you see, everything you read, everything you even think has been judged by society and there are reasons that we keep secrets; we keep secrets because we don’t want to be judged.

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