The Acronym Generation


I’m almost positive that we’re going to have acronyms for acronyms pretty soon.

“You’ve got to BOLO because YOLO” will probably become a thing or something close to it.  If we’re not careful urban dictionary will become the new Wikipedia and that would spell disaster in so many ways.  If college students can’t access Wikipedia, well IDK what’s going to happen to the world.

I realized earlier today that at least fifty percent of my communication is done via text message.  I’ve realized that you’ve got to guard your cell phone number with your life because in the hands of the wrong person (and by “wrong” I mean someone who could develop any type of feelings for you) this kind of information can have disasterous consequences.  A friend of mine goes through at least two cell phones a week because he gives out his number to too many “creepers.”  To be clear this guy is a bar-hopping Ryan Gosling wannabe, but clearly the bar that exists to be my friend isn’t all that high.  Still, creepers is a term that should be discarded from our vocabulary.  Not everyone you meet is a creeper.  People use the term creeper too much and all I can think about when I hear the term are those things we use to make as a kid with the oven.  I think they were called “Creepy Crawlers,” but I might be wrong on that.  Anyways, all I think about when I hear “creeper” is what a gooey disaster Creepy Crawlers were.  A new term is needed here and I think an acronym could do the trick.

I check my phone so often you’d think that I was waiting on a life or death call.  Sometimes I can grab my phone, text someone and slip it back in my pocket before anyone notices, it’s creepy or at least it should be.  Someone was telling me I had good textiquette the other day and my response was that as a society we need to stop making up words.  She spent the next hour making up words just to annoy me.  You can imagine how annoyed I was when I realized I wasn’t talking to a Palin.  Palin is a word that we should use for anything that is too stupid to believe like a one-term Governor who quit her job to focus on “real issues.”  All of these lexicon related issues stem from the Bush administration, I’m sure of it. If you find a seepage somewhere and you know it’s evil I think it’s a fair bet that if you looked long and hard enough you could find a connection to GWB.  I didn’t realize how bad of a President George W. Bush was until I saw how bad of an ex-President he was.  Did you know he now spends a majority of his time painting?  There’s a fall from grace if there ever was one.  Bill Clinton is out saving Africa and George W. Bush still thinks Africa is a country.

Bill Clinton has an awesome Twitter feed if anyone needs someone to follow.  See below.


If you don’t think that’s utterly hilarious you either have a very bad sense of humor or have already forgotten Seamus and his owner…oh, what’s his name?

If he doesn’t get his damage control department in better shape Bill Clinton is going to wind up explaining every mistake that the Obama administration makes and that would be awesome not only because Bill Clinton is awesome in everything he does (he was great in Primary Colors) but because the worst feeling a Republican can physically have is dealing with a crisis related to Bill Clinton.  All of that makes this tweet from President Obama seem a little odd:


What’s worse has to be all the trolling that Fox News must be doing to them.  This economy needs to improve real fast so someone can give those folks real jobs…

When I got my start in writing I hated Twitter because it seemed to dumb down the conversation, but now that I’ve been on it for awhile I think I’m coming around to it.  It lets me interact with people I wouldn’t normally interact with like Republicans.

Twitter also keeps me up to date on all of the “cool” things that my friends have to say and not in the annoying Facebook way where they just slam your news feed full of things that were “liked.”  If you want to promote something on Twitter you’ve got to do it the old fashioned way and pay for it.  It’s like a hooker that goes around town and tells everyone you’re a good lay only without the STD that’s likely to follow.

Twitter is a great way to handle mobile news.  There’s this blogging service called Sulia that I’ve been meaning to try out.  Sulia formats your stories so that they fit perfectly on iPhones and whatever other mobile device exist out there that aren’t iPhones.  Since Blackberrys are dead (yet everyone on Scandal is still using them for a reason that has yet to be explained to me) I don’t really know what other people who “don’t buy into the commercialization” of Apple use.  Nokia?

I got a text the other day from this girl and she wanted to know why I was in such a “weird mood.”  There is no way you could possibly know that!  We’re not even talking, we’re texting.  You can’t see me on the other end, this isn’t Skype or Tango or something.  You don’t even have the benefit of hearing inflection because we’re not technically on the phone.  This didn’t stop her from assuming that she was responsible for the imagined “bad mood” that she claimed I was in.  My favorite question that I got from her during that exchange was: “is this because I didn’t lol?”  Yeah, that’s it!  I said something and you didn’t follow my guile with a sanguine note of acceptance.  That’s all that matters in the world.

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